Feeling Emotionally Better

It has been a while since I have written. Seems it takes longer than I thought to mourn the loss of your mother. But, I am getting better in that department.

My headache is gone, but last Sunday, in the afternoon, I started to get stiff and continue with stiffness and pain.

I'm assuming it is fibromyalgia. Makes it hard to walk, think and get motivated. I just want to sit.

No sitting for me though. Tonight I have my community group meeting at my house and I have to get ready. I love the group but hate getting ready.

Started taking Noni again yesterday. We will see if it helps with the pain and fatigue.

A Letter to My Readers

My Dear Readers,

The truth is I feel dried up. I have not got back into the swing of things and feel that I am lacking in my blogging.

I am trying to plug back into my church activities, housework, crocheting, blogging, but am having a great deal of trouble doing so. My concentration is gone and I have very little motivation.

A dear friend came by and told me that it is the Jewish tradition to mourn for a year and that it took that long with her mother. I, on the other hand, feel that it is time to get on with the task. That is what my pastor has told me and I agree. The problem is my mind and body are not quit ready. I need to give myself permission to take as long as it will to grieve.

Tonight I am going to go ahead and have my community group hear at my home. I was suppose to call everyone, that comes, and tell them it would occur. But, I have not called. Two are coming and that is only because they called or I saw them. I do not want to do anything.

So, I am trying to push myself back into the world. God, on the other hand, can not be pushed. I feel, a bit, detached even from Him. I seek Him in the mornings and wait for His nudging on what to write on my blog and I since nor hear not a word.

What I am trying to say to you, dear reader, is that if my posts seems vague, erratic, lost or just plain boring, it is because I have become those things for now. I am working my way back to myself, but for now, this is who I am.

I am a supernatural Christian processing the loss of her mother.

Blessings,
Given55

Money, Money, Money

Every since my mother passed, I have woke up with a headache. I suppose it is tension, there was so much to do. It seems like there is no end to all the details.

My mother thought that she had the whole funeral paid for, but....NO. Seven hundred fifty dollars to put her in the ground and now I find out that not all of the grave stone was paid for...another three and seventy five dollars. OUCH!!!

Such a long draw out ordeal. Hard to find time to grieve. A friend told me, the other day, that it would take a year to finish grieving. No wander...no one will let you have time to grieve. Everything is about money.

I was out at the cemetery yesterday and found several graves without tombstones. Now I know why...NO MONEY!!! How irritating.

My mother wanted us to be able to relax and grieve. Poor thing had no idea how the world will not allow grief only financial gain.